If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
