If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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