real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
