i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
handjob tips. give me some.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
