The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
