my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
