If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
