Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
