I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize