I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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