Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
