where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I AM VODKA MAN
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
