When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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