I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
