I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
