I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
