She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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