I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
sarcasm needs its own font
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
