so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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