there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
