You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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