absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize