The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
