This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
