thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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