addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
