U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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