on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Found the puke drawer
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
