I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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