i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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