White coat. Heels.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
