can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
