My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
