Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
