She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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