Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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