Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize