He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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