Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
