Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
