well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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