Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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