I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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