Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
