I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
