U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
