So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
