i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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