I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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