she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Randomize
