Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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