So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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