ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
