Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
