I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
