It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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