i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
