Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
