It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize