My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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