She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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