If that was your dad, he is hot
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
