You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
