chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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