Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
