sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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