guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
