i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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