I want to have your abortion
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
