How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
