if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
